Saying Good-bye during the First Days of School

As we finish up the first days of school and try to settle into our new routines there are still the anxieties that come with new places. By helping your child transition into their new schedule or environment you can help ease their worries.
Learning to separate is a lifelong process and an important part of growing up.  When you help children learn to manage separations from and reunions with their loved ones, they feel understood and gain self-confidence. A child’s stage of development influences the way he or she reacts to hellos and good-byes.  In part because they involve such strong feelings, hellos and good-byes are opportunities for valuable learning that affects all areas of young children’s development.
During separation, children will learn about themselves and others, learn about their world, and learn to communicate as well as establish and sustain positive relationships with their peers, teachers and parents.
Suggestions to Support Successful Good-byes:

1. Talk to your child about the new changes to come (including infants and toddlers) in their schedule or environment.
2. Prepare them with what to expect during the transition.
   1. “Mommy is going to go to work and you are going to go to school.” “Ms. Jennifer is going to take good care of you while Mommy and Daddy are working.” “I will come pick you up after school is over.”
3. Establish a consistent morning routine and try to eliminate rushing during the morning before school. This can cause additional stress to the child and put them on edge.
4. Bring your child’s comfort item from home such as a special blanket or stuffed animal.
5. Include family pictures for your child to look at when feeling upset.
6. Take pictures with your child in their new classroom. This can provide another way to help children feel connected to their family during the day.
7. For those children who are having a hard time transitioning or adjusting to a new classroom or school, leave an object that belongs to a family member reminding the child that their mother or father will be back. You can say “I’m leaving the book I’m reading with you. Will you keep it with your things so we can get it when I pick you up today?”
8. Establish a consistent drop-off routine and ensure it always includes saying good-bye to your child. Hellos and good-byes offer opportunities to build positive, trusting relationships with children and their families.

Young Infants who come to school before they are 6 months old may not have difficulty separating from a family member.
Mobile Infants typically show more of a preference than young infants to be with family members and special adults.  Around the age of 8-12 months children often develop anxiety about being separated from the special adults with whom they have bonded.   While helping a child through difficult separations may be challenging for both you and the child, remember that the difficulty is a sign that the child has a secure, healthy attachment with their parents.
Toddlers and twos may cheerfully wave good-bye to their families on some days. On other days, they may cling so tightly to their parents that you have to pull them off gently so that their parents can leave. If you have established a nurturing relationship with children and if they have a consistent routine, then, even on the most challenging days, children will know that they can trust you to ease them through difficult times.
Please feel free to express your questions, concerns or feedback to myself or your child’s teachers.
Warmest Regards,
Michelle